I previously talked about my 5 Design Rules to Live By, drawn from the design mind-sets from Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. Today, I would like to talk about the final rule, Rule 5 – radical collaboration.

What is it and why is it important?

Radical collaboration, simply put, means that you aren’t alone. When you are confronted by a problem, it is easy to get absorbed in our own minds and emotions and insist we can solve it ourselves. However, we are just one person, with one set of experiences, one frame of reference. You might not feel like you need help at all. But by not reaching out, even when you don’t think you need it, you are robbing yourself the opportunity to leverage the knowledge of all those around you. Imagine how much more effective a solution you come up with might be if you had insight from someone with experience in your issue, or who came in with a set of fresh eyes and asked a question you hadn’t considered before.

Similar to the discussion around the importance of curiosity, having a diverse group of people there to collaborate with and give you ideas and feedback creates a wealth of knowledge that you did not have access to before. And much like all of our previous discussions, it is a skill that we need to regularly exercise and can cause harm if we try to avoid it.

Seeking to collaborate with others not only broadens your own experience, but opens you up to being able to pass along knowledge to others, which is rewarding in that it creates empathy, builds personal and professional relationships, and frees you from pride.

How can you start?

Be curious. Practice all the stuff that goes into expanding your curiosity and that will in turn help you be more comfortable in approaching people to assist you in your projects and problems.

Build your team. Make sure it’s diverse, not just so that you make sure you are getting a breadth of experiences, but so that all of your emotional needs are met as well when you need to navigate the tricky parts of a problem. Involve people who will be your cheerleaders, your co-workers, your confidants, and your fellow adventurers. Make sure it’s people who aren’t always trying to throw advice your way or influence you to what they think is best, but ask thoughtful questions and respect the path you are on.

Be an active part of a community. People naturally gravitate towards like-minded groups of people, and good communities give you a sense of belonging, respect, and support. They have missions that resonate with you and create camaraderie between you and it’s members.

Connect with groups who have knowledge in the area you’re working in. This is probably more obvious when you’re confronting a technical problems. If you aren’t sure the next step you need to take to, say, start a business, reach out to the local small business support organization and talk to the administrators and members.

Jot down questions as they come up, and go back later to find ways to answer them.

Find a mentor. This is tricky, because it’s almost universally recommended as a way to get the best guidance for your journey or problem but it can be hard to establish if you don’t know where to start. Mentoring relationships are not something you can force or can get just by walking up and asking someone. They grow organically from people who are invested in helping you. The more you are willing to collaborate, the more you will create the kind of relationships that will form into mentor-/mentee-ships.

How has it helped me?

When it comes to building my team, my biggest collaborators are my husband and two of my closest friends. My husband likes to play the part of optimistic problem solver, relentless cheerleader, and master inquisitor. My friends are both supporters when it’s needed, and reflective questioners other times, but are always respectful of everyone’s individual journeys.

At work, collaborating is one of the biggest perks and biggest struggles of my new position. My first job was with a group that preferred working in solitude in trial-by-fire type scenarios. Even in college, my classmates preferred working solo when we weren’t assigned to group projects. Group time was for unwinding, and work was done on your own with headphones firmly in place. My current teammates, however, are always getting up and wandering to other desks, asking for help or advice. It has been a huge culture shift for me, and one that I am working very hard to adapt to. I even use a reward system, like buying myself a mocha from the local coffee joint, when I step out of my comfort zone to approach someone across the room with a random question or set up a meeting to get educated on a process I’m not well versed in.

I obviously still need help in some areas. I sometimes have trouble with projects with no clear direction attached to them, and I don’t always have the confidence to approach my leadership with questions (“It’s probably a silly question I should already know,” and “They look pretty busy, I won’t bug them,” are two of my most common hold-ups). Luckily, I have superiors who are genuine, invested, encouraging, and are willing to find ways to help me succeed. They want to collaborate on my success as much as I do, and have that kind of support from your managers can be very uplifting even when you feel like you aren’t performing at the top of your game.

Do you have anyone on your team who helps you collaborate in different areas of your life? I’d love to hear about it!